We knew each other for a whole 6 months and 8 days when we said our vows in the courthouse. We didn't have rings to exchange, our witnesses were employees at the courthouse, and our families first heard of our plans as we were driving home after the ceremony to get ready for work that day.
["I don't even know her last name!" his mom exclaimed. "Yeah, you do.. it's the same as mine!"]
We were in love.. crazy, irrational, head-over-heels, floating on cloud 9 type of love.
But five years ago, we were strangers. Strangers that loved what we knew of each other. We had just moved to a new state, far away from familiar faces or any support of loved ones. And as if we didn't already have the tools for success, we also shared a common love of alcohol.
Our lives revolved around drinking and cigarettes. We spent our nights in a haze. During the day, we were just getting by, trying to pass as responsible young adults, be "functioning alcoholics," and just make it until the evening came so we could drink again. We'd have our drunken talks, talking about our lives before we knew each other and the future life we wanted to create. We also had our alcohol-fueled arguments about whether the color of the pillow on TV was actually green or purple, or argue about a completely hypothetical situation, and whatever else we could create an argument about (while brushing off any suggestions that alcohol might be a problem).
The turning point was when we turned to running. His mom led the way when she completed her first marathon, about 50 pounds overweight at the time. We began replacing alcohol with running, and little by little we started turning our talks about the future into action. As we focused more on our physical health, we also improved our marital health.
As I sobered, I learned more about the person I was married to.. a strong but sensitive, stubborn but easygoing, sarcastic but good-humored man who made it his primary goal in life to make me happy.. a sometimes difficult undertaking. We also learned we are complete opposites. He recently told someone I was "his yin to his yang," and I think that perfectly demonstrates his unconditional love and acceptance of our differences. Most of all, I learned he is resilient. That WE are resilient. In our marriage, while trying to learn more about him, I have learned so much about myself.
Five years ago, we walked into the courthouse as strangers. In that time, we have grown as individuals, and we've grown together, and this is just the beginning of our love story!
To my heart,
I promise to continue to be your yin. I promise to be beside you through any and all obstacles. I promise to always love you, never settling for average. And I promise to always strive to be the best version of myself as we continue to learn more about each other and life.
Happy anniversary!
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